The Way I Leave You
by sethdoesstuff
Summary: This story picks up where 4x04 left off. The truth about Blaine's mistake is revealed.


"I cheated on him." Blaine said simply.

"But you cheated on him _with me_."

They sat on a bench in the park nearest to Blaine's home. The place was as close to a storybook as it was possible to find in Lima. Perfectly weedless grass, strong leafy trees and patches here and there of wildflowers.

"You're not just some random hookup. You know that." the two linked hands, "What's happened between us has been a long time in the making. But the fact is that I did something wrong. I broke Kurt's heart. I could've done this better. I could've done it right."

The two then sat in silence for a long while, looking from each other's eyes to their calm surroundings. Both boys had things to say, but at this point there was nothing one could say that the other didn't already know. This subject had been discussed at length since Blaine's return to Ohio last week.

While it was true that the conversations had become far less hysterical and involved far fewer tears, it was also true that Blaine couldn't (and wouldn't) ever forgive himself for this. In that moment in the park he made a promise to himself that he would never knowingly hurt someone that he loved like that again. And then something occurred to him that he had all but forgotten about.

"Someone messaged me. On Facebook." Blaine said, regaining eye contact. He was going to be a man. He was going to stay honest.

"The day I came over... the day we kissed... a boy from Dalton sent me a message. He wanted to hook up. I told him no. I told him I had feelings for someone."

Silence.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I'd forgotten up until just now, and when I got to your house we started talking and... and the kiss. But I'm telling you now because I want to be honest with you. I care about you so much and I don't want to make the same mistakes over again. Are you okay?"

More silence.

"I've been such an idiot. I know that. But please, you have to believe me, I will never break your heart."

Tears began to form in Blaine's eyes as he spoke. Had he ruined it already?

"Please... please don't hate me. I didn't mean to keep it from you. I never would've done anything with him. I swear." Blaine said honestly.

The hand holding Blaine's tightened for a moment before letting go. In a flash he was pulled into a tight embrace with strong arms around him. They were chest to chest and held each other as though they were afraid if they didn't, they might fall apart. The world around them seemed to quiet down and fade away, all that existed was the two of them.

Emotions overwhelmed them both as tears fell from their eyes.

"I care about you so much." Blaine heard in his right ear, "I always have. I'm not mad at you. I trust you. I know you'd never cheat. The only reason this happened between us was because of the way we feel about each other. Kurt went to New York and left you here with no one."

"It's more than that." Blaine spoke slowly, finally voicing something that he had clearly been wrestling with for a while, "Kurt leaving really opened my eyes. There's so much I want that Kurt can't give me... in so many ways. I can't stand being the sweet one all the time, the one that always has to be strong. Sometimes I need to be held, sometimes I need to let go. I care about him but I can't kid myself anymore... I'm not in love with him."

Blaine began crying in earnest now. He usually wasn't the type to cry. There was just something about being held this way, he felt safe. He had been sitting on all these feelings for so long and he never felt like there was anyone around that he could talk to. He had tried talking all this out with Kurt so many times since his move, but he was never given the time. He wasn't important enough to be answered. Many times Blaine suspected that after being sent to voicemail after three rings, Kurt had begun ignoring his calls. How do you talk to someone that won't talk back?

They held each other for a while longer before letting go.

"There's something I want you to hear." Blaine whispered, "I was working on it for Glee Club, but I want you to hear it first."

Still holding hands, Blaine began to sing slowly and softly.

_"Maybe I'm amazed at the way you love me all the time_

_ maybe I'm afraid of the way I love you._

_ Maybe I'm amazed at the way you pulled me out of time_

_ and hung me on a line._

_ Maybe I'm amazed at the way I really need you."_

Blaine stopped a moment and kissed the hand he held in his.

_"Maybe I'm a boy, maybe I'm a lonely boy_

_ who's in the middle of something_

_ that he doesn't really understand._

_ Maybe I'm a boy, and maybe you're the only man_

_ who could ever help me._

_ Baby, won't you help me understand?"_

Another moment, and Blaine looked at this boy as he had only ever looked at one other.

_"Maybe I'm amazed at the way you're with me all the time._

_ Maybe I'm afraid of the way I leave you."_

The only sound to be heard now was from the birds chirping high in the tree to their right. They shared this moment together in the park, both feeling the conflict of the situation, but also feeling the way they felt about each other.

"I love you Blaine."

"I love you too Sam."

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Second chapter is in progress! Reviews and PMs welcome!


End file.
